What if jokes

What if I was to kill 2 men with a ladder? Would I be causing co-ladder-al damage? What if God is a woman? Well, we will all go to hell without even knowing WHY. What if someone were to steal the Large Hadron Collider? It would be a matter of 'great con-CERN'. What if I tell you there is a way to stop all the kids in the school making fun of you because you are still a virgin?

Just start giving them bad grades. My girlfriend was feeling down and said "I'm such a negative person what if I drive you away? What if Thor become Gold Thor? He will become an Author.

What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes? They would be more possessive and have more frequent contractions!

What if the Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight? It would be a Mass confusion. But if you remove the right side of the brain, the person is still capable of critical thinking. However, if you remove both sides of the brain, the person is still capable of being our president. What if Jagmet Singh won the election and it was actually Justin Trudeau all along.

What if we tell the flat earthers that the answers they are looking for are in Area 51 Then that way we get to watch people storm Area 51 and no one dies that anyone cares about! What if female pirates had boobs made of wood instead of peg legs It'd be weird wooden tit. What if HIV existed in Game of thrones? Jason momowa would try to kill it.

What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen? Boy, will that be anticlimatic! What if you were trying to say the number 9, But Germany said no. What if you get to heaven and God says What if Erik the Red had been Erik the Green? What if a MakeAWish kid wanted to lose their virginity? They'd have to work something out under the table. What if aliens are responsible for global warming? And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

What if tide pods.. Are just cleaning up people who should have been stains in the first place? What if one died.. We will start counting from two. What if a fly drops 2 inches? A fish was looking out of its river and saw this fly and thought 'if that fly drops 2 inches, I'll be able to jump out and eat it. What if the last words of the bible were " What if Cinderella was a cooking slave instead of a cleaning slave..

What if I lifted a pack of Coca-Cola over my head for twenty minutes a day every day? That would be soda pressing. So what if I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid? I can stop any time.

If a person speaks 3 languages, they're trilingual. But these numbers can and should be larger. It also influences critical behaviors and attitudes that matter to leadership effectiveness, including employee job performance, job satisfaction, organizational commitment, citizenship behaviors, creativity, psychological safety in groups, and desire to interact again in the future.

They can lower status and in extreme cases cost people their jobs. One good laugh—or better still, a workplace that encourages levity—builds cohesion. Humor and laughter are intricately tied to status and power. People in lower ranks who wield them well can climb the status hierarchy in their departments and organizations. As we saw in the Swiss advertising study conducted with our colleague Maurice Schweitzer of the Wharton School , individuals who make funny and appropriate jokes are more likely to be nominated for leadership positions by their peers.

In the same research project, we ran an experiment in which we asked people to recall moments when a colleague was funny. Humor not only helps individuals ascend to positions of authority but also helps them lead more effectively once they are there. Professors Cecily Cooper University of Miami , Tony Kong University of South Florida , and Craig Crossley University of Central Florida found that when leaders used humor as an interpersonal tool, their employees were happier, which fostered better communication and resulted in an uptick in citizenship behaviors—voluntary actions that facilitate organizational effectiveness.

That is, when leaders used humor, their employees were more likely to go above and beyond the call of duty. Why is humor so powerful? In a study to understand what makes things funny, researchers Caleb Warren University of Arizona and Peter McGraw University of Colorado at Boulder found that humor most often occurs when something is perceived as a benign violation. They conducted studies in which participants were presented with scenarios depicting someone doing something that was benign for example, a pole-vaulter successfully completing a jump , a violation a pole-vaulter failing a jump and getting seriously injured , or both a pole-vaulter failing a jump but not getting seriously injured.

Participants who saw the third kind of scenario simultaneously a violation and benign were more likely to laugh than those who saw the scenarios that were either strictly benign or strictly violations.

Things strike us as funny, the researchers concluded, when they make us uncomfortable but do so in a way that is acceptable or not overly threatening. Because telling jokes that violate our psychological safety can be seen as risky, it can make people appear more confident and more competent. In one of our studies, we found that regardless of whether a joke was considered successful or inappropriate, participants viewed joke tellers as more confident—because they had the courage to attempt a joke at all.

Projecting confidence in this way leads to higher status provided the audience has no information that suggests a lack of competence. We also found that people who violate expectations and norms in a socially appropriate way are seen as more competent and more intelligent.

This finding confirms our feelings about funny conversationalists: We admire and respect their wit, which raises their prestige. But the violating nature of humor is also what makes it risky.

Although tellers of inappropriate jokes are still seen as confident, the low competence signaled by unsuccessful attempts at humor can lead to a loss of status. Finding the balance between a benign violation and an extreme violation can be tricky—even professional comedians routinely face criticism for overstepping—and it takes skill to get it right.

When we converse with others, we need to balance multiple motives simultaneously. We may aim to exchange information clearly and accurately, make a positive impression on one another, navigate conflict, have fun, and so on. The degree to which each motive is viewed as normative and socially acceptable varies from setting to setting.

A certain joke may work dazzlingly well with one group of people but completely flop with another—or even with the same group in a different context. Inside jokes are extremely common—our data suggests that almost everyone has engaged in or witnessed one. But how does insider talk, especially inside jokes, affect the dynamics within a group? We asked people to engage in a brainstorming task on instant messenger.

Each participant was teamed up with two of our research assistants posing as fellow participants. Did it matter whether what they missed was funny? Participants were more likely to believe that their partners thought of themselves as superior in the inside-joke condition than in the inside-information condition, and they reported lower group identification and cohesion when the secret exchange involved a joke.

Although levity is typically thought of as a behavior that binds people together, it can draw fault lines in a group, making some people feel awkward and excluded. Inside jokes have their place, of course. They can signal closeness or camaraderie, making people feel pleased to be in the loop.

But the research on this kind of humor is clear: When group cohesion is important, tell jokes that everyone can understand. In their study, participants either made or received sarcastic comments or made or received sincere ones.

Participants in the sarcasm condition were significantly more likely to solve a creativity task assigned later in the experiment than those in the sincere condition.

In a subsequent study, participants were asked to merely recall a time when they either said or heard something sarcastic or a time they said or heard something sincere. Once again, creativity on the subsequent task was higher in the sarcasm condition. Open side menu button. What do you call these hysterical "what do you call" jokes? So bad they're good. By Best Life Editors May 29, Read This Next. It just waved. Latest News. Including some new holiday fare.